Tiger, tiger

Yoshka from Yaroslavl. A tiger, as Lena does not fail to stress it every time. We have seen him thirteen years ago, and already at that time he was a rascal of no small calibre, but by now he has grown into a veritable godfather among the frat boys of Yaroslavl. We have just received the criminology roundup on the last year in which, among other things, the following are reported:

Бился на даче с Буль-терьером. Не знаю, как у них возник спор, результат таков: хозяева Буль-терьера пришли жаловаться на Ёшу, что собаку изуродовали и у нее трясётся голова, а Ёшу мне пришлось увезти на лечение неживого и с обгрызенными передними лапами. Болел сильно, с неделю у него были на передних лапах боксерские перчатки из бинтов, он был так слаб, что не мог их снимать. И вообще, задумал помирать, пришлось вызвать врача на дом, да-к Ёша, не смотря на своё отходящее в иной мир состояние, не сдавался, пытался врача куснуть за укол.

At the dacha he came to blows with a pitbull. I don’t know the reasons, only the results. The owner of the pitbull came to complain about Yoshka, telling that the pitbull had the face completely spoiled and its head was trembling. And I had to take Yoshka to the clinics more dead than alive, with the forelegs bitten all over. He was very sick for a week, and wore boxing gloves out of gauze on both forelegs, but he was so weak that did not manage to take them off. He was about to die, so I had to call out the doctor. But Yoshka, not minding that he was due to depart this life, also tried to bite the doctor in change for the injection.

Our image is just an illustration, representing a much more innocent animal. Directly from livejournal.com and indirectly from the collected cases of veterinary by Komaváry.

А последний его тигровый подвиг состоялся этой весной, - мы вообще опупели. Ко мне пришла Лена Митрофанова дать некоторые советы по ремонту, а у нее собачка, она всегда с ней в машине разъезжает. Собачка благовоспитанная и добрая, но порода берёт своё. У неё сибирский хаски с голубыми глазами, такая волчара крепкая, в холке 70 см. Вот они пришли, Герман сидел у меня на плечах, испугался, махом рванул на шкаф и стал оттуда шипеть в меру своих сил. А хаски-то думает "белка" и давай радостно гавкать на всю квартиру. Папа стал снимать Германа со шкафа, а я открыла дверь в маленькую комнату, чтобы туда Германа спрятать. И тут из-за двери, как чёрт из табакерки выскочил Ёша. Я в принципе знаю, как кошки нападают - встают в дугу, пушатся и шипят, и вот этой дугой идут на неприятеля. Ёша - кот бойцовский, с опытом - выскочил против такого гиганта и встал в стойку - передние лапы широко расставлены, задние подогнуты (похоже на лягушку), стал шипеть и грозиться по-кошачьи басом (МА-У), и наступать. Хаски опешил. А Ёша лапами не перебирал, а скачками (как лягушка прыгает) наступал и грозно МА-У. Все окружающие испугались. Я выставила ногу в ботинке, чтобы удержать Ёшу, а Митрофанова спешно спасала своего Хаски. Потом Ёша гордился, его кормили мясом, восхищались, а он говорил: "Да. Я такой".

He perpetrated his last tiger’s deed in the spring, to our complete shock. Lena Mitrofanova came to see me and to give some advices on the rearrangement of the flat. She has a puppy which always travels with her in the car, a very well educated and proper little dog, but nature requires its share, isn’t it. The doggy is a Siberian husky with deep blue eyes, an energetic little wolf, measuring about seventy centimeters at the withers. All right, they come in. German [the younger cat] was just sitting on my laps, and he was so frightened that he immediately jumped on the top of the cupboard, screaming from there as he could. The husky realized: “A squirrel!” – and he started to happily barking all around the flat. Dad began to take German off the cupboard, and I opened the door of the little room to hide him there. But in that moment, from somewhere behind the door like the devil from the box, Yoshka jumped out. I have seen a couple of times how cats launch an attack, by bending their back, ruffling up their hair, shrieking and then ranting at the enemy. Yoshka as a well experienced fighting cat exactly knew how to act in face of such a giant. He sprawled the claws of his forelegs, pulling the hind legs under himself like a frog, and by counterpointing his shrieking with a threatening cat’s bass (MA-OOOOW) he was about to attack. The husky drew back in a panic. However, Yoshka did not attack yet, but stood upon his hind paws like a jumping frog, and continued the terrible MA-OOOOW. The blood of the bystanders froze. I lifted my foot in the boot to block the way of Yoshka, while Mitrofanova quickly saved out her husky. After this Yoshka went around proudly, was fed with meat, everyone admired him, and he only said: “Yes. I’m like this.”

Я такой - I’m like this – The Con Artists Feat Pete Miser
(five seconds from the film Everything is illuminated (2005), from Odessa)

This strategy must be a common heredity of the knights of the ice fields. For Muska also presented this performance at us when she was still little, but already a Siberian cat to the core. My sister Anni brought her two hounds to us. Muska, to counterweight her small stature, jumped on the top of the table, and there she performed this battle dance accompanied with a horrific shrieking. The two hounds pissed under themselves and fled in a total panic. When I counted this story to Lena in my reply to her report, she exultingly wrote:

ЭТО НАША МУСКА – русско-венгерская (на столе, как в лучших салонах, прямо czardas какой-то), славянская мадьярка. Настоятельница покоев и устроительница уставов. На столе-престоле.

THIS IS OUR MUSKA! – this is Russian-Hungarian blood! (on the table as in the best saloons! obviously some sort of czardas!), this Slavic-Magyarka! The guardian of peace, the establishment of the law. Na stole–prestole. On the table – like on the throne.

(From Ruth Sanderson’s Renaissance cats)